somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
