yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
