lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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