so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
