I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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