Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
