We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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