You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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