His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize