did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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