sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
