508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
