I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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