Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
