Porn is love you can see.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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