She said her name was "party"
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
