I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
