I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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