It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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