you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
