i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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