with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
