Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
