i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
