Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
