Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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