Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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