my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
