Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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