Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
