Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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