I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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