i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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