He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
