for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
