I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
17 year olds will be the death of me.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
