So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
