I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
