i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i came on her dog
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
