Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
