the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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