Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
