; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
