My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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