im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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