what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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