i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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