Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
