some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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