Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
