Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
