Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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