he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
