ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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