At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think I died a long time ago.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
