don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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