Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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