the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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