I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
