Non-Jews are for practice
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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