just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
