Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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