Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
