Don't you send me to vm
I wish I only lived at night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
